Cowboy Rules, Fun pages and poems

A Cowboy's Rules for his Gal

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask me.

Don't cut your hair. Ever.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Sometimes, I'm not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don't ask me what I'm thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as navel lent, shotgun
shells and saddle soap.

Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's
just like every other cat. (Yeah you, Cat lady!)

Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

Shopping is not a sport.

Anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose
their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the
first two months we were going out.

Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't
expect me to like it.

No, I don't know what day it is. I never will.
Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

Don't fake it. I'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Anything I said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

You don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect me to act like soap opera guys.

You can either ask me to do something OR tell me how
you want it done - not both.

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