| |
Arkansas Y'all!
How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas
to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? - - - - -
Documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where was the toothbrush invented? The great state of Arkansas! If it
had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth
brush.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-40 and says to the
driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies, "Bout whut?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? The winner
gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep. Pert near took out
the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books -
Poof ! Up in flames ..... and they hadn't even finished coloring one of
them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Arkansas driver what
gear he was in at the moment of impact.
He replied, "Tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Folks in Arkansas now go to movies in groups of 18. They were told "17
and under are not admitted".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Arkansas man spoke frantically into the phone, 'my wife is pregnant
and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No ya dummy" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
|
|
| |
We have enjoyed redneck jokes for years, but it's time
to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values
home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen
terrorist threatening my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to
back me up, with tire irons, squirrel guns, and grit --
You might be a redneck if. . ..
It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase,
"One nation,
under God ... "
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
You've never protested about seeing the Ten Commandments posted in
public places.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You bow your head when someone prays.
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the
National Anthem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You treat American Veterans with great respect, and always have.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You've never burned an American flag.
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who
is listening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
|
|
