Country Whispers


 

Arkansas Y'all!


How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? - - - - - Documentaries.

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Where was the toothbrush invented? The great state of Arkansas! If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

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An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies, "Bout whut?"

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Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

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The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep. Pert near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books - Poof ! Up in flames ..... and they hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

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At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Arkansas driver what gear he was in at the moment of impact.

He replied, "Tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit".

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Folks in Arkansas now go to movies in groups of 18. They were told "17 and under are not admitted".

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An Arkansas man spoke frantically into the phone, 'my wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"No ya dummy" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

 

 
 

 

We have enjoyed redneck jokes for years, but it's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorist threatening my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up, with tire irons, squirrel guns, and grit --

You might be a redneck if. . ..

It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase,
"One nation, under God ... "

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You've never protested about seeing the Ten Commandments posted in public places.

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You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."

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You bow your head when someone prays.

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You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

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You treat American Veterans with great respect, and always have.

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You've never burned an American flag.

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You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

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You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

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You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
 

 



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